popcorn (films) wrote,

a small update

got my pills for my blood pressure and my "mood". a review so far
the blood pressure i think has gone down a bit since i have taken it - which is i guess a good thing.?
and my other pills well i have only taken one so far and i looked at the side effects of them and one of them would be not able to sleep well i was up at 1am for a bit this morning and i took the pill yesterday. that was one of the many side effects.
how was i today? well i felt my blood pressure go up a little bit but it was trying to stay down...still a bad score...and the mood well i sure was pissed off today. and saying to my self i hate this fucking place. i gotta get out. i was also very quiet today. this place is fucking me up big time! not sure if i am letting it fuck with me or there are way too many people in charge and they all say the same shit or different shit? once i said to my self today going to kill my self. i am sick of this shit. but as you can read i have not. but i work in a very unhealthy environment that is damaging me day by day. i do not have a (social) life, i have aged quickly in 2.5 yrs, my health is so so, (as you can read) i have joint pains aka Arthritis. i don't go out and do much of anything after work, my mind always thinks of work. i am not as creative as i use to be. i dislike people these days. i want to try to take some time off but you know they will not let you take off a total of almost 4 months of the yr and not the prime times aka the holidays. i just don't understand how one job can do this to one person? its awful. i dislike who i have become.

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