popcorn's Journal

7:56am: Last night at work i told my self i should update LJ so here i am. Almost a month later since i last updated. My job has its ups and downs. (Not as bad as walmart) But the downs are i feel like I am not showing off my talents, and the job has no challenge to it. Meaning its easy money. Sometimes I feel useless and I want to get another job. But then I think how my life was only a few months ago and i think about all the pros that this job has given me. Its given me more pros and cons.

I did see MEN IN BLACK INTERNATIONAL one day afterwork. I thought it was an okay spin off/one off film. I do not think they need to make any more of those films.    Now last week when I felt like it was a super long week.  When I came home from work last monday, my mom told me about this "New" song by Freddie Mercury thats just gotten released world wide. And that one song made my week. Still is going!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=LGjt291COa0

Had a nice weekend off. On Saturday morning it rained. Just realxed during the day. I started to listen to a podcast I have had since March. Its really good. Its called BLACKOUT.  Saturday night we had steak and that was yummy!
Sunday was also realxing. I watched an oldie Action film SPEED. It was really good. Had not watched that in yrs.
that night bono, oreo and myself all watched TOY STORY 3. Such a good movie!
This week at work i am working till 7 every night. But it kind of goes by fast. And this weekend coming up I have off.  I'll know by friday what next weeks work is like since its the 4th of july. Thats it for now! Only about 2 months or so till Disney!

3:59pm: 2 WEEKS later
So 2 weeks later i thought i would write. the job i have at fort caswell is a kitchen job. the first day i helped serve food to people and it made me feel good to do that. then as the days gone by my roll was more behind the kitchen door in prep some food (which is going on more now then when i started) and more in the dishroom taking care of the dishes from the people.  So at times i do feel kind of down because i thought  i would be making a diffrence in some peoples lives. Even though i know i am not looking eye to eye to these people, i know i am making a diffrence. my mom told me that.

my hours are nice 28 hours a week. Some days its 6am-230pm or 11am-730pm.  So i work 3 to 4 days a week.
i got my first check. it was lower then it should be. I found out they do hold back one week. So in the past 2 weeks I have gotten paid for only one week.

Everyone is nice at work. there are maybe one or two of them i do not care for them. But then i think where I was at in other words walmart. I am glad i am not there anymore.  Also my Boss Beth gave me a nice comment and it was that she is happy i am with the team and happy to have me.

During the first week of work I had to get my car fixed and i was hopping that my check would cover it. I had to get my starter fixed and that cost $311.  Then I had to get something fixed my oil was leaking something like that and that cost $232,  (now that i look at it, that was the price of my first pay check)

5:20pm: Last time I wrote was in Feb of this year, I was reading how blessed i was in my life to have done the things i have been able to do, work on film, go to college, and so on. I also talked about my job at WM but also taking the year off to take care of my mom and how my life has changed a bit since. i kind of know whats important to me. making money does matter but its not at the top of my list. From Feb till March I was trying to apply to the local bacery but plans fell thru.

April was a nice month but busy. Easter was super nice. no real reaason just was. My mom and I also got out of the wyndgate hotel time share trip to orlando for later in the summer. We lost some money but not as much as if i were going on the trip.

April was also the month were i was applying to more jobs. i had apploed to pet supply plus.

Pet Supply Plus
-40 hours a week (8am-430pm/1pm-930pm) full time
-no benifits
-$8.50 an hour to start out
-Stocking, Cashire, Clean pet cages, Fork lift

Brunswick Community College Day Support Specialest Job
-Called back for an interview
-20 TO 25 hours a week pt time
-$11 an hour
-no benfits
-The job seems to be a nice job to help special needs people

Fort Caswell Food Service
-$9 an hour
-28 hours a week pt time
-Feed people daily

So in the end the job I took was with Fort Caswell, Why? A few reasons its because how the job was presented.
My mom was vollenterring at Habatat Restore and someone who was earning hours was there and she came in and said "anyone you know need a job?" So she explaned the situation to my mom and about what Fort Caswell was and she said i did not do well in WM and Leigh Anne said "there is no mean people at Fort Caswell, there are only nice people".   The only thing is its ran by Bapists, which I am not. Does not really bother me.

I also took this job for another reason see when my mom was growing up she went into the Church and became a Nun for a few years. And that reason is I feel a part of me is following in her foot steps. Meaning she went into the Church to serve God and I feel I have this job to help people and also to serve God (I am not getting high and mighty) to make people happy!

I said since the start of this year God will put me where he wants me to be at this moment in time. And this is what he has chosen for me right now.  

I have only worked at the job for 2 days so far and its not that bad. Nice people and everyone is kind. No one yelles its kind of laid back. And the nice thing about the job is we also get to eat meals free. So that right there is a savings when i was working at WM I was using like $20 a week or so just on meals or a snack or something.

Also another life update for the last 4 yrs I was lucky enough to have my insurance thru the marketplace and I started out paying only $2.50 a month for health insurance, then it went up to around $22 for health insruance. When I was signing up for insurance for this year i was not able to get the tax credit that helped me and i've been paying $415 a month since jan. Last week i was able to get a diffrent insurance and only pay $163 a month! So i am blessed for that.

9:48am: Thinking Before Bed
So last night I was thinking of my life over the last few years and how much i feel like its changed.  Now granted let me say Dreams do not die! They do not fade away. I remember 20 years ago how I wanted to get into the film business. I went to college and went into the associates of the art degreee. Not sure where all of this is heading....

Since we moved here I was very lucky to become friends with people in the film business, some people i still am friends with and some that has moved on. I was also very lucky to join the business for (a short) time for around a year or so. (off and on) yet I saw friensd in the bussiness who were so pleased to have the job they currently were working on but they knew that it would be coming to an end and the search would be on again for another job.

I was also very blessed to go to college (basicly FREE) with financhal aid. I was also blessed to go back to college in 2010 because in 2001 I dropped out when it came down to it. And I always had that "what if" question hanging above me for years. I went back to college in 2010 and Graduated in 2013.  I had not had a job since June of 2010 untill 2014.

In 14 I joined up with Wal-mart. Working in the hardware dept then a year or so later working in the toy dept also. I learned alot working there. I was working my butt off, saving money like crazy.  But my nerves got the best of me while working there. I had thoughts of sucide alot, i was depressed, the job gave me high blood pressure, also a few more issues such as my health as you can read. While working I had all these thoughts that everyone had a better job then me, people were lucky to do this or that and i was stuck working there. (this part is true -) but its working in a tourest aria where everyone is enjoying them sleves but you. I felt really upset about that.

While at that job things started to bother me such as music and people! The store played the same music over and over again and that really bothered me. Such as the songs they were playing, songs about fire, burning it down, the usual crap you here on radio now and then. over and over and over and over and over and over.  The music was just awful.  While working I had an accident a car slammed into mine, her car flpped and mine just did a 360 turn. God was on my side that day because I was fine and unharmed. He even told me that he wsa not finished with me yet.

Last year my mom had surgery issues and I first had to take a few weeks off then I had to leave my job and take care of her full time.  That was a rough time for both of us. As you know everything turned out good. (sure there are some kinks to work out but if you had 3 surgerys in a row thats understandble)  Last month we went to NYC and while there I had asked people about their jobs and everyone i seemed to talk to they said they do work super hard and maybe only get 1 day off every now and then. -I know look where they live-  This year I am back in the job hunt and I have applied to many places so far and mostly gotten rejected. Some big places and some small places.  I could go back to walmart but i have some issues i would have to deal with. I did apply to a job thats kind of small but i think i could be happy with. its not a big box store. in the end what i have learned, you could have "the job, the life, the money" and so on and think your happy but your not. its been a crazy few years but i heave learned you take what your life has been in the past as a blessing. what in front of you is family and in the end family is what matters, so like with not wanting to work for walmart anymore (currenrly i pay full price for health insurance) i want to slim my life down and downsize it make it less compulcated. And I went to bed.....

4:34pm: Christmas 2018 and 38th 2019 Birthday
Christmas 2018 was a really nice one. It was happy because I had my mom. I also gave her gifts which she loved very much. She gave me mine.  But i gave her better ones!  Lets see what did I get
-cash cab board game
-blue shirt
-record crate (retrurned)
-digital photo frame (returned)
-humitifier
-streight razer

 I had gotten sick about 2 days after Christmas December 27 and Currently thru this new year still sick.

My 38th Birthday Yesterday was also nice. it was very laid back. My mom kind of felt a bit sad during the day because I was doing what she would do for me. But i was making her job a bit easy. Also I was still very sick. We did what we wanted to do.  Had a nice cake, had some nice chineese food for lunch and opened up my Birthday gift and that was a Nes Classic Mini. Cute. Simple.  I just hope its a good year for me. And able to get a job and more!

6:28pm: I know this year is not over but i thought i would write my year in review.  2018 has been a rough and tough year for my self and my mom! I feel that this year I was given many trials from God to over come to see how strong I really am as a person inside and outside.  The year began on a bad note I was sick on my birthday. Snow arrived in the Carolinas and we had a trip to Disney World to go to. We missed out on the first day because of the snow. We arrived to Disney at our hotel almost Midnight on the third day. So we already missed out on a day and a half (half day would be the first day of travel) I remember my mom was in much pain during the trip. It was an okay time. That was all I remembered. On the way back my mom was on the phone to doctors to get on the way to get some help.

The next month I do not remember much other then Surgery that my mom had that month. Let me tell you it was not pretty. I was able to take a month and a half off of work to take care of her. And that is what I did was be her care giver with no help. She was in so much pain and had fallen many times.  During this time in late March we did go to Vegas that my mom had booked last year for the both of us.  That trip was one of the few happy times I had all year long. We were able to go see The Beatles Love show and that was such an amazing show! But an accident happened in Vegas later that night my mom tried to get into the bed and those beds in Vegas were so high up she ended up falling on the floor and her head bounced right up off the floor. She was able to get help and from that moment on she stayed in the hotel room and it was a solo trip for me. One of my highlights of the trip but also for the year was meeting a longtime friend of mine Anneli. We were both friends with each other on my space and after many years we met! It was almost a dream come true!  The best way to discribe it, would be meeting a pen pal you have known most of your life. We have stayed in constant touch with each other since.  While in Vegas I did meet a new friend. He worked at the hotel we stayed at. We keep in contact with each other and say hello to each other every now and then.

I went back to work at walmart in April and one of the few things i could remmeber was telling one of the other employyees that I know I have been back for only this amount of weeks but I am alreedy burned out!  Not only I was working at walmart i was still a care giver to my mom and trying to be a care giver on my 2 days off and before going to work every day. My hours were always 1pm till 10pm. I was getting sick of those hours because I did not sign up to spend my nights at walmart. During this time they also made me unload 2500 peace trucks every now and then without notice.   I was also looking into getting another job.  Some nights my friend Allen would come in and talk to me and just get stuff off his chest. He and I feel alike because we feel like we are going nowhere in our life stuck in our dead end jobs. Both of us felt like we were being tested by God.

At the end of June i felt like i was being treated really unfair at work so one day I thought that it would be my last day and i put my things into my locker and clocked out and went home. Well This was another test sent from God because when I came home I found my mom on the floor. She said she was on the floor for 3 hours and not able to get to a phone so she just waited. I was able to get her up and I said at that moment that this was a sign and I quit walmart because this should have not have happended. I go back into walmart and let them know what happened and said this time around i can not give 2 weeks it has to be right now. So I have not worked at walmart since. I heard from many people it took guts to just walk in and tell them i am leaving and that was it but little did they know there was a reason why I did it like that. Also it was time to cut the coard from that place. If i had not quit i would never quit.

Another test of God happended to all of us in September a slow moving hurricane hit us bad. It distroied everything in its path.  Boiling Springs Lake was on the National News! Roads were torn apart. People's homes were distroied in Southport and in Wilmington and other parts of the state.  This was a time were people banded together to stay strong and help each other in need.  Our house had some dammange some shingles came off the top of our house so I have to say were lucky! The town was without power for 7 days. Some people near by had their generators on thru out the storm but most people had no generators. I took showers out in the rain. there was no AC in the house. We lost our food so when the power came back on and we were able to go and buy some food it was like we were living large and enjoying the small things in life again. Most places were closed. Week by week I saw the town and the people trying to get back to a normal tone of life. Restrants were opening back up so people could eat a good meal. The local movie theater was open every single day with free movies to be shown.  I looked at the theaters in Wilmington and most were still closed but ours was open every single day for the poeple. it was a nice thing to see and do. I know I started to go often from that moment on.

More tests from God were heading our way! I set some doctor apointments up for mom for some tests she had to do before surgery had to even happen. She did not want to go thru with it but I pushed her to get these tests done. I was proud of her. In  November a very sad unexpeded event came into our lives. Our dog Shelly passed away in her sleep one Friday night and it was sad. I still remember that friday night I had put her into the brezze way so she could sleep with a pee pad. She was barking all night long. The next morning i knew something was wrong when i went inside to wake her up. She did not wake up. She had passed in her sleep and I guess the night before she was saying her good byes to everyone. I still miss her. She was a love to our family and she made us laugh alot.  But on a happy note in August we got a new cat and named him Oreo. I think he gave shelly a few extra months and has given Bono some more life to enjoy. He has made our life happy and has made us laugh and a nice edtion to the Furey family.

On November 30th my mom had Surgery (again) the same surgery she had back in Feb. She came home and was fine. Next day she came down stairs and felt good but at one point she could not even walk up stairs so from Saturday till monday she was living down stairs and sleeping on the couch. She went to the ER that day and spent the night. They did a CT scan and siad she had ot be transfered to New Hanover in Wilmington. They did more MRI's and found blood clots where they did the surgery on Frriday and then blood clots in her legs. So Tuesday and that night they did emergnancy sergery on her. During all this time all I could do was be at home but Prey and ask for mom to get better and thats all i want for Christas to get my mom back. I was able to go and see her on Thursday and she was so happy and thankful to see me. Next day she was able to come home. I got my friend Doug to help with that. She has been home for a week. We have  PT and OT and a Nurse to come ot the house to help. Mom is doing great a week later! I am so thankful for God helping thru this. God is amazing! I have my mom back! She is in no pain at all! That is the best news all year long for both of us. It is 10 days till Christmas while i write this and once again I am so thankful to have her back and happy! 

10:27am: Shelly Furey Passed Away
I have some very sad news. I woke up this morning and found Shelly she had passed in her sleep. So very sad!
She had a wonderful life with us. She made us laugh many times. She gave me countless kisses. I miss her!

May the other other Furey pets show you around in Heaven!

7:25pm: Still keep on kicking......
Well I finished that project for my dvds. It took a while but in the end it was so worth it!!! I did it my self!
In september Paul McCartney came out with a new album. I thought it was really good. The same week he had a show at a train station in NY and it was broadcasted on youtube. It was a neat show. Well after that bit of fun distruction came to NC in the shape of a hurricane. For at Cat 2 hurricane it demolished NC / Wilmington, Boiling Spring Lakes and Southport! So many people left without homes and parts of various things. During that time we had the national guard come to town to help and give people food in boxes. We had to wait in line to get to food lion. When the power came on we were so greatful for that and the AC. I think alot has changed around here. The week after the hurricane i took a walk into town to see people try to get back to normal like going out to eat. It was nice to see. I event went to the movies for a day. I saw A SIMPLE FAVOR and PREDITOR. Before the Hurricane I saw THE NUN.  But during the next few weeks I saw the town still falling appart aka- roads- and this is just how i might be feeling but i feel things are very diffrent now then they were almost a month ago. Needs and Wants are diffrent now then they were back then. Still taking good care of my mom. She needs me more. I went to check on that job and right now God does not want me to have a working job he says my job is here taking care of mom and the home because who knows what the future might hold right now?  I will admit I am kind of depressed for some reason.

4:52pm: I now feel that my walls are becoming much more smaller and smaller. Over the last month I know I have kept busy with my own project - importing dvds to mkv files...then finding out those files are getting to the point where my hard drive is getting much more full and now exporting those mkv files into another smaller compact format in order to save space on the hard drive.

But other then that I am taking care of mom so much. Day and night. Some days fixing her all 3 meals in a day while she is in bed. Helping her to doctor apoiintments. At times its hip to hip. I love her so much. I love that i am spending all this extra time with her but i feel like i need a break. give me a week off or something.

My ear is bothering me again. I need to be around sound so i dont feel it or hear the diffrence. i think its the air pressure.

going to look into a trip some place

8:58am: So I have not had my job in 20+ days. Do not get me wrong its been great not working at walmart aynmore. But I have awhole nother bit of stress on me now. Its taking care of my mom. Her cidiaic nerve pain gets so bad sometimes she takes hours to come down stairs for the day. But not only that much more responsbilitys are coming onto my lap. And I understand that I am putting whatever my lfie is aside now to help my mom. But more and more I start to think are these going to be the last memoies of the both of us? Now let me say she is now where near "that door" but it just seems more and more her life is becoming more islated and smaller. I get so worried. I even told the doctor last week it seems like she is getting worse and not better because she is becoming very limited. And i also do not like the amount of meds she is on. seems like every week is a new one ( i know thats not true) but it just seems like it. And all i can do thru all of this is help her but more then just help but watch her and it hurts. i want my mom back. i want my mom back from last year.  She has aged so much since October or November when this all started. I do not know what to do anymore other then help her and be there for her. i gues thats all i can do is help her and be there for her.  but one thing for sure is i do need breaks from time to time and just be a 37 year old (whatever that means these days?) I had to vent and this was the only place i could think of.

5:24pm: life update

8:23am: Back to Real Life (what a drag!)
Since we came back from our trip I had one week off (Easter week) and that was a nice time to try to unwind and get back to normal life. Last week was my first week back to work. Many people were happy to see me. Nice to feel welcomed back. They eased me back into work by only working 3 days.  But they have given me some odd time shifts (like always)
1-10pm or 530-10pm or 6-1030pm.  

So currenly I am trying to balance out my sleep habbits but Bono keeps waking me up around 7am! So a cat nap here and there. my blood pressure is still lowerd which is nice.

Still trying to think of a upcoming trip sometime soon but first i have to get use to being back at work.

7:59am: Vegs Baby! Vegas!
Sunday we got to Vegas at 1130 and arrived at our hotel. The Westgate hotel and casino. Fun fact same hotel Elvis played at in the late 60s.



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6:21am: Its been quite a while! January was an okay month, as you know i had a birthday but i spent it in bed. then my mom and i went to disney world. that was a nice trip for the both of us. then in February i was still sick (still sort of am with my ear problem) but my mom had to have lower back surgery. i was off the first few days, but by the second day i had called into work asking if i could take a leave for awhile to take care of my mom, which they let me and that was super nice of them. So i was out of work but i had work to do as a caregiver. Let me say it was tough in many ways but more emotional because i had to care for my mom (and i still am) it was lifting her out of bed, i will not go into detail but total nurse things. some days were good but some days were not so good for the both of us. Some days i was super upset and mad because she was acting like a child when it comes down to it. Some days were great because one day i had to go do some things for her and i had left her at home sleeping. i come back home 2 hours later and find out that she had moved around without me! i was so proud of her! So really since Late Feb till currently that is all that i have done is be her caregiver from the smallest issue to the largest issue. I do have some good news and that is on Sunday we are going out west (my first time) and going to Vegas! (also my first time) We are going to see 2 shows (as of now) while we are there the Beatles Love show and the Michael Jackson show. Both should be amazing!

3:36pm: 2018
I know that I am 15 days late with a journal but much has happened.

My birthday this year was a some what good one...I was sick in bed all day long (I have had bronchitis for the last few months) Also went to the doctor. I got a few gifts.
Rolling Stones Live at the BBC Record
Star Wars The Last Jedi CD

I took off the next 2 days from work because I was not feeling well at all.
On Friday we were driving to the airport to go to Disney but we had missed our flight because of accidents on the road. We were able to get a flight for the next day. I was also able to call Disney to let them know and they refunded my money for the first night. On Saturday we went to the airport early for our afternoon flight.
We ended up getting into Disney and into our room at midnight Sunday morning.
More on Disney trip later.

6:13pm: 2017 has come and its almost gone
2017 Began like almost every year. But with one awful person to run the USA later that month...Lets not get into that.

2017 has been an alright year in my life. i began the year watching lots of movies because of time off from work. But I will just list some random highlights of this year and not a year in review

11- I have come to terms that I have an illness called Depression and it hits every so often for various moments in my life. it sucks when you want to just kill your self but thats depression for you.
10- another year to be alive
9- Snow board cabin trip in Feb with some friends
8- Trying to come up with 12 things during the month to look forward to and not get depressed
7 - Know that my job is well awful and i need new one (i say that every yr)
6- Going to Disney World in May to celebrate my Mom's Birthday with her!
5- Enjoying and buying a PS4 early this year
4-Spening the last few days with my beloved cat - Miss Kitty (who passed in Sept)
3-Seeing Star Wars Live in Concert with the NY PHILL
2 -Spending as much time with my mom and pets as I can and enjoying every moment
1- My mom pushing me into getting a ticket to go see Paul McCartney in Concert at MSG Sept 2017 a big moment in my life this year!

11:39am: STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI


We saw the film on Saturday afternoon. The theater was packed! We had to sit in row number 1! Thought it would be kind of tough to view the film from that row but it turns out it was the best seat in the house! And it did not cost as much as a concert ticket would cost! haha. Wow! Such a great movie! The movie had a very different tone from The Force Awakens. It pretty much began where the last one left off (if they had to change the two scenes order) You came into not knowing what to expect if you had not viewed the trailers like my self! That was the best way to come into this movie because even the Director said to not watch the trailers because it gave much away. The movie had some jokes thru out and that was a welcome addition to the film, some jokes were better then others. But these films aways had some jokes sprinkled thru out. One word for you PORGS! i thought i would dislike them but i love them! Such a wonderful experience. I will see the film again very very soon. I thought the music was also very good. lots of themes from the last film. Nice to here some new John Williams music!

And the next comment well if you saw the film this will a good thought to you, I know that we are going to get Star Wars Eps 9 in 2019. But with Carrie Fisher gone and what happened at the end of The Last Jedi, do you think that this new Star Wars set of films should stay a SAGA or a Trilogy. I know that Fisher was going to have a larger role in the next film but now i am unsure how they will make the last film without her. Whats your thoughts?

6:58am: Over a month update
Wow~ November was such a busy and crazy month...Do not remember much of the month sad to say. So I will skip down to the week of thanksgiving. My mom and I went to a Christmas concert we saw Mannheim Steamroller in Wilmington a few days before thanksgiving. It was our first time going to this new venue in Wilmington. It was a nice venue, the photos look bigger online then it is in person. The show was nice, very different from the shows I saw with Doug. It got us into the Christmas spirit.
Well not sure what I did the next day other then help my mom out with the Turkey because we were hosting the holiday this year. Thursday, Thanksgiving day. I helped mom out during the morning while looking online for various "deals" and could not find anything. Little that I knew that I would wittiness a crazy mob scene later that night. Around 1 my family came over for the afternoon. I was kind of sick at that time (still am while writing this) So an hour came and went. I had to go into work from 2-11 that night. The sales began at 6 and let me tell you what I saw was crazy. Hundreds of people put items into many carts, TVs, Toys, Clothes, anything they could get their hands on. It was sicking to see. Charlie Brown was right all Christmas is these days is one big commercial holiday. Very sad. My shift came and went and i went home to go to bed.
During the month my mom had booked us a Christmas trip to Disney well it was they said no at work (and this week I am only working like 20 hours and this was the week we were going. sad as hell!) so i called disney the next day and changed the hotel and the dates and we are now going my birthday week on Jan 5th. No money was lost and my mom was very happy because she was super upset.
This month has gone super fast so far. I have worked most of it but also I have been sick still and also my mom was sick for about 2 weeks. I so very worry about her and her health so much. But I took very good care of her over the last 2 weeks with her pills and giving her breakfast/lunch and dinner in bed most days. Had a scare last Saturday and I had to take off from work but she seems to be much better a week later. Today we are going to go see The Last Jedi and looking forward to it very much!

4:13pm: Halloween week Vacation time!
Since 830 friday night i have been off of work for my week off aka vacation! feels good. So friday night i came home and found some "new" but old horror radio shows as I did last year and they are





on Saturday we had a yard sale. Did not make a lot of money but it was money we did not have on Friday. Kind of just stressful- the entire day. Later that night the town had various halloween parties. I was so tired and went to bed at 8 while listening to "The Weird Circle"

Today I woke up and it was nice and cool outside and it was pouring down rain! nice! Went online for a long time. looked around. had some breakfast. tried to finish a movie i was watching last night. then started season 2 of stranger things.

Monday October 30th- I did some mini projects around the house. I also looked online to see if i should buy anything while i am on vacation but i passed. which was a good thing! I was also prepping for Halloween, the next day. when my mom was at habit someone donated a reel to reel player. okay nothing new about that...well the crew threw all the reels out and started to play one...well my mom said I have to buy this - all of it! So she came home and said i bought you something Sean, its a reel to reel player you are going to have to learn how to use it but i think once you turn it on and press play i think your going to like what you hear...so it took awhile but i pressed play..... (More on that in the coming days)

Tuesday October 31, Halloween. - I did not have a great sleep at all. I woke up super early in the AM for a while then i went back to bed. When i woke up at a normal time I did not feel good at all. I felt very sick. And so much noise around which was bothering me. I have to go to the dental's office to get my teeth cleaned. I was running a bit late but I made it. I came home still not feeling well. it was a mix of many things, mess, the stress of halloween and even still trying to learn more about the reel to reel tape deck. So dirty! I laid low for the rest of the day. We had pizza and then gave out candy for about 90 min and everyone seemed to love it. Even a gang from work came by and loved it they were happy to see me. Later that night i went to bed.

Wednesday, November 1 - Still not feeling great (think its the air pressure) its like 70 outside! come on fall weather! Thru out the day I was transferring those reel to reel tapes. Some recordings I kept, others I did not bother to keep because it was not my thing.

Thursday and Friday Nov 2,3 - On Thursday the big thing was still going thru the reel tapes and I managed to find another Beatles tape it is recording sessions from Abbey Road and Let it Be. Really awesome! Come to find out that is a bootleg called Apple Trax but who cares! On Friday, my last day I cleaned up the apt and put everything back, vacuumed the rugs put the tape player outside because of all of the chemicals it gave off. Feeling better. Watched a movie and relaxed.

12:54pm: ( Read more...Collapse )

12:36pm: New York City Sept 14-Sept 17 2017
This is my very long journal about my trip to NYC
( NEW YORK CITY 2017"Collapse )

10:25am: New York Trip
I will be very soon posting a long journal about my trip to New York City to see the street fairs, the New York Philharmonic and the best of all to see Paul McCartney at MSG!

11:15am: Miss Kitty Oct 8th 2005 (the date when we got her) - Tuesday Sept. 19, 2017
Miss Kitty passed away last night in bed while sleeping. So very sad. She is in a better place and getting the tour from our Furey pets up in heaven. We had come home from NY on Sunday, she was so very thin and was meowing for us very loud ones. She spent a good 2 1/2 days with us till last night she passed away. During her final day she and i slow danced to some nice soft music. one thing about kitty is she alaways loved music she would respond to it. She sat on my lap for awhile, then sat her outside with me to get some nice fresh air in together. During all of this i was in tears. I then checked on her last night around 10 and she had passed in bed. I cried for a good hour more. She will be missed by all of us.

7:29am: Stuff
Last month came and went which is a good thing. i dislike summer.
Work the last month has gotten crazy, and only my self and one other employee in the dept. not much can get done. I am sure they know that. Also onto of that we have to make the isles neat all the time for hours on end. its such a waste of time, better things cane be done in that time, do they know it. I am sure they do, do they want it? no. i so hate my job such an awful place to work! I so want to quit and have a better job with more money. Anyone know any better jobs with more money then what I make? I know that I need more money to really live on to support my self now and the future.

The good news is i think every store is like this and this is not my problem on how awful the store looks and is. Everything that is "important" to this store means nothing in the real world and outside of the store.

One thing i can tell you what I feel like i have done for the well awhile now....is I have put my self into isolation. I feel because of work i have given up my friends, i no longer talk to them (real life and online) If someone is having an event like a dinner out or something like that, its always when i am working over the weekend and i can not go. I never have anything to say or anything really good to say anymore. I really have disliked my life and what its turned into over the last few years and who i have become. I now get depressed more often, I get anxiety, and yes thoughts of suicide.

7:09am: Yesterday I had a really good day. First good day in awhile. I was off but all I did was do some projects, take some records out of frames. Watched some movies starting around 11am. Took my bono out for a walk. it just was a nice day